7-5-19
8:36 am Friday
I slept in today and did not do yoga.
I will go on a walk later today with Viggo.
We had Shuna’s family over yesterday and had a very good time.
It was great the twins and Melisa had a great time riding the horses.
It is very pleasant to get supportive comments from Shuna’s family.
I woke up yesterday in a terrible state. My upper back was very tight and unconformable.
I wanted to explain to Shuna how poorly I was doing. I also tried to explain to her how she can help. The main way is to simply to ask, “ Is there anything I can do to help.” That question alone brings hope. It lets the individual who is suffering know that they are not alone, that someone else sees them, that they are concerned enough to take a moment to query the other. To me it is almost magic this soft stuff. Why does this simple act mean so much. I am not sure. It is a good reminder to me too, to ask this same question. It is an act of empathy, compassion, of love to see another’s suffering and to be concerned.
It was very good to talk to Shuna and to hear that she leaves me alone because she believes I am mad at her.
I am not mad at my wife, I am just in discomfort. But when she shows no interest in me when I am suffering I do get very discouraged, confused and upset. This of course just intensifies my discomfort to a screaming discomfort.
The discomfort in my upper back was so intense when explaining this to her yesterday that my eardrums were pulsating,…vibrating.
But after the conversation and doing some work and taking aleve, my back was doing much better.
This life and death pain vanished from me without leaving a scar or blemish. It was as if it was never there.
The ethereal nature of this injury seems to reside in the realm of the supernatural or the imaginary worlds.
I can feel it creeping back though now while I sit in front of my computer typing this up ready to start blackening my world.
I may need to stop working on a computer too. The mechanics of it just might not work for my body any more.
I will start with walking more and see how this helps. If I want to appreciate this experience I need to address this back pain issue.
I am thankful for this opportunity.