9:14 am Sunday
It is Sunday. It is mat day, the day Viggo cleans mats by the front and back door.
He does not like mat day.
My neck and upper back have been troublesome.
I have started jogging and exercising that part of my body, hopefully it will help.
I seem to be being pressured by this discomfort to do something.
I believe exercising, being more physically active, is one way to address this seeming pressure being exerted on me. This seeming pressure being exerted on me seems to want me to do something, say something, encourage something. What is it?
What seems to be appearing as some faint inkling is some kind of public act.
What it might be a voice that says something like, don’t give up, that what we do matters, be hopeful and appreciate this strange experience. I believe what we are doing on our farm is in part voicing this. I seem to want to expand this voice.
I am not sure how to expand, amplify, deepen, and broaden this voice.
My essence seems to be trying to lean into this while my body may be resisting.
There seems to be a conflict that needs to resolve. This conflict has been in motion
since I was a teenager. I want to take this conflict and find a path for it to resolve.
The goal of ATM / Cascadia Heritage Farm is in part to find this path to resolve this
conflict I have. I believe the pursuit of ATM / Cascadia Heritage Farm is good, but
I need for some odd reason to be more vocal about it, get more involvement.
I don’t really understand why, other than it seems to be bending me forcefully in this direction. What seems to come to me as a resolution is some kind of march or parade with our animals in a public place, a spectacle of sorts. It all seems rather silly to me but the pressure and discomfort that seems to be being exerted on me is rather uncomfortably forceful. I will chat with Shuna to see if there is perhaps some sort of performance art that we can do with the animals to promote them and to promote the values of ATM. I am guessing this is coming to a head as a response to all the tension in all of our lives from the virus and other issues.
I seem to need to act, but how?
I will consider this and see what ideas Shuna has.
I am thankful for this opportunity.