11-19-20
9:59 am Thursday
It is Thursday. Shuna and I are getting along nicely, which is a relief.
I find myself a little wound tight. I am wondering if this is a result of all the
uncertainty of the world currently. I have a bad tendency to expect the worst
and once I have made that prognostication of doom and gloom I want to be right.
I don’t believe I am alone in this behavior. It is rather a low response and promotes and encourages a lowsome expectation and outcome.
I want to plan for the worst, but seem to be missing the hope for the best portion of the platitude. I need to switch gears, I am being eaten up by something and need
to focus on what I can do to effect hope and appreciation in myself and others.
I will go for a jog to start, try to catch up on some paperwork and try to do some projects on the farm. We currently are having some work done on horse paddocks.
It is a huge and expensive project. We may not have planned it out as well as we should have; there are mountains of dirt, gravel and mud. It will work out and the horses will have an area that will be more suitable for them without creating a huge mud pit. Horses are big animals and are very hard on the ground and during the winter when it is very wet, they need an area that can bear their weight without resulting in a mud pit. We are putting down about a foot of gravel to help with this.
We will do a video of what we are doing, perhaps to show people where we could have done better but also what is going right.
I want to assert that things will be all right. I want to encourage a reality of appreciation and hope. This is very hard for me to do. During our current climate it is so easy to expect and encourage the worst, I hope I can have the strength to expect and encourage hopefulness in myself and others.
We will see.
I am thankful for this opportunity.