12-4-19
7:58 am Wed
It has been over three weeks since I last wrote. I have been completely absorbed this last
month in selling the two linked businesses that I owned with two partners. I was completely occupied.
I stopped exercising as a whole. I am the heaviest I have been in my life this morning, 200 lbs.
I have been successful in selling the business. At best, my portion of the proceeds will amount to a year of my previous salary.
I am grateful to have a year of salary. I am scared though. I year’s salary covers just one year. It’s not much.
I don’t plan to work as an employee, and I don’t believe this farm business Shuna and are starting
will make much money. Shuna does have a good job, but our overall income will be reduced
by about ½. We will make do.
Something that is interesting to me is that I consider making an income to be my purpose, my highest use, what I simply should do. Undeniably, having resources is important. But there must be more to it.
It is about being a part of something bigger, dedicating and sacrificing oneself for the greater good. I woke up the day after selling the business and I was miserable. I considered that I
am going to be miserable whether earning a salary or not, so I might as well earn a salary and have something other than my misery. This logic or response may not be the most helpful.
I am still helping to transition the businesses to the new ownership and trying to be appreciative of the process, and the new owner.
What I have learned during these transitions is that it is very hard to remember the life you
had prior to the transition. What I mean to say, is that having the focus of making money becomes everything and once I change the focus to something else that is what I become possessed with.
Not to say making money is not important, but it fades as this other approach, this other value of being and appreciative, starts to dominate.
I don’t believe I have much control once that value/reality occupies me; it takes me and I cannot fight the current. I do believe strongly the concepts we have been working on at Cascadia Heritage Farm of trying to put ourselves into an environment and to prepare our vessels to be occupied by and support the values, behaviors, reality we want to be a vehicle for is key for a volitional change. If you believe you want to get wet, jump in and rest will follow.
I am very thankful and appreciative for this opportunity.